Career
“You’ll Never Work in This Industry Again!”
- by Holly Burton
Have you ever worried about upsetting someone powerful in your industry? That if you say or do the wrong thing they'll tell everyone in your industry how awful you are and it'll be difficult to advance? Or, heck, even work at all?
"You'll never work in this industry again!"
I've heard variations of this uttered (ok, let's be honest, shouted) so many times. Friends, clients, and WIMDI Community members, even me -- we've all been on the receiving end of a threat that someone will ruin our careers. Fun.
I used to be scared of these people. I'm not now.
After watching a number of these threats over the years, I've realized something comforting: They almost never come true. And here's why:
#1 - Most People Aren't That Well Connected
Even if you work in a tiny industry, there are still thousands of people you could work with over the years. Most people don't have networks anywhere near that size. Think about it: Do you know anyone who knows everyone in your industry? No!
Even well known and powerful people in the industry still have day jobs. They don't spend all day meeting people and building their perfectly crafted network of revenge. So from a sheer numbers perspective, it's difficult for anyone to know enough people to ensure you'll never work again. Someone will hire you.
#2 - It Takes So Much Work to Ruin a Career
Let's imagine that you really did piss off the wrong person, and they actually do have the connections to ruin you. What would have to happen next? Well, short of them doing an expose on you in the news media, they'd have to get on the phone. They'd call up the first person in their contact list like *ring ring* "Hey, long time no talk. FYI, Melinda is a profit-destroying monster and you should never hire her! Talk soon!" *click*. Rinse and repeat 500 times.
Who's got time for this? No one!
#3 - People Know There Are Two Sides to Every Story
Continuing this nightmare scenario, let's imagine this super-well-connected person is so driven by their vendetta against you that they actually take the time to slander you to enough people that it actually matters. Great. Does it go anywhere? Not usually!
Adult human beings know there are two sides to every story. AND, the angrier someone seems about an interaction, the more we take their side with a grain of salt. People will think it's a bit of a red flag if a powerful person goes out of their way to trash talk you! Generally speaking, unless we trust one party in an argument implicitly, we'll hold back judgement until we have further evidence, like our own interactions with a person, or stories from other people.
#4 - It Might Actually Help You
Hey, let's imagine some people do believe the trash talk. That's actually a little bit awesome. Would you want to work with someone who was friends with the person causing all this drama now? Of course not! Now you have an excellent filtering device for terrible people you wouldn't actually want to work with anyways.
What Happens in Real Life
I remember one of my very first managers ranting to me -- their fresh-out-of-school employee -- about a colleague of mine. They told me they were going to ruin my colleague's professional reputation and that he'd never work in the mining industry again. I was worried for him. They seemed so angry, and so powerful. I really thought they might do it.
Guess what happened? Nothing.
Actually, not nothing. My colleague quit our toxic work environment and got a great new job. Then, after my manager was let go, they struggled to find work for years. With all of that ranting about ruining careers, I guess people noticed how difficult they were to work with. Hmmm....
So Don't Stress Too Much About People Taking You Down
As much as you possibly can, don't stress about people ruining you.
There are some high-profile cases in the media (the Harvey Weinsteins, Bill Clintons, etc) where the powerful really really ruined the reputations of people around them. It definitely happens. But that's not what happens most of the time. Most of the time nothing happens, or the impact is small, or you learn a great lesson about people who you hate working with.
I know December puts us right in the middle of two things that can instigate these types of conflicts: Performance Reviews and Holiday Parties. Between contentious performance conversations and (unacceptable, illegal, gross) harassment, this is the time of year I most hear people worrying about having their careers ruined. I've had a few clients over the last year faced with exactly this situation, and a few WIMDI community members too.
If you're in this sticky situation, know that we at WIMDI have got your back (and we know some good employment lawyers, too!)
