[D] This is how it goes:
This is what I want done and this is when I want it done by. This is why it needs to be done. Do you foresee any problems with that?

And my door is open if you have any questions, and if anything changes which might impact you meeting the deadline, you need to give me a heads up as soon as possible so that we can troubleshoot and make sure you meet that deadline. So, keep me posted.

[H] Alright, so that's the script in a nutshell. Let's break that down into its pieces, because there's six key parts that we need to make sure we understand.

The Formula – The Six Key Steps to Follow When Delegating

The formula for this is step one, what specifically do you want done by this person? When do you need it done by? Why you need it done?

Then you need to check in with them if there's any barriers in the way. Get a clear commitment that they'll actually do the work. You need to invite them to ask you any questions. Then tell them to keep you posted.

Six easy steps. This is going to be the key thing for you to remember.

[D] Let's break it down in more detail and we'll see where Holly stuffed it all up.

Step #1 What You Want Done

[H] Step number one is what you want done. So here you need to explain exactly what you need to have done. You need to be clear; you need to be specific, you need to state the success criteria upfront and the level of detail that you're going to go into is going to be dependent on their seniority.

If you're dealing with somebody who's really junior, you're going to give them really tightly defined projects, crystal clear success criteria, probably lots of check-ins built in.

And if you're dealing with somebody far more senior, you can probably give them more outcome-focused success criteria as opposed to the specifics of exactly what you want done. You can say we want you to achieve this.

How you get there is less important, but this is what we're looking for. Somebody more senior is going to be able to run with that as they move up the chain.

[D] In our role play, Holly said, "Hey, just hoping you can get that block model done this week." This was not at all specific about the work she wanted done on the block model.

I mean, what commodities, what drill holes, etcetera. So, it's totally possible that if I had done this work, I wouldn't do it the way she expected anyways. Which would've been even more of a waste of time.

Step #2 When You Want it Done

[H] Step number two is when you want it done. This one's pretty straightforward, you have to give them a deadline and there's got to be a clear date attached.

The key part here that I messed up is that you have to actually set the deadline yourself

[D] In our role play, Holly said, "When do you think you could get it done?" Holly didn't set the deadline at all. She asked me to do it. This is a huge problem because this is just Holly delegating her responsibility as a manager to her employee.

[H] This is a pretty cozy position for me to be in as a manager. We often do it as a way to give people flexibility and it's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's a way of offloading responsibility.

Suddenly, now if Darrell doesn't meet the deadlines, it's not my fault. I didn't set the deadline, I don't have to be the bad guy, because Darrell went in and set it herself.

But this is like, if you're a parent -- letting your little kids eat candy every single day of the week, all the time. It's your job to make sure that their teeth don't rot, from eating candy and never brushing their teeth.

As a manager, that's still your job as well. So, you need to be careful about outsourcing this and offloading this. It's actually on you to make sure that the deadlines are set and follow it through.

[D] Both of these things together, the what and the when make up the expectation and it's really important that you get the strength and tone of the expectation right. You don't want to be wishy-washy.

You don't want any ums and errs and justs and can you possibilities.

[H] You need to watch out, especially for using we: "oh, we just need you to get this block model done this week." Or indirect language, "Oh, it needs to be done by like...." "It needs to be done -- the block model, independently in and of itself, needs that to be done." No, I need it to be done! Holly, the manager.

There are all these little ways of distancing yourself from the accountability. And if you're struggling to do this here, I promise you you're going to have struggle to do it later on when you actually have to hold this person to account. It's important to get this right here as well.

[D] At the end of the day, don't be casual about your expectations. If you set casual expectations, you're going to get casual adherence to it. That's exactly what happened with me in the role play.

Step #3 Why It Needs to be Done

[H] Step number three is why it needs to be done. Here you want to explain why this project is important, what it's meant to achieve, and then any consequences to it not getting done.

I don't think this is something that I did particularly well in this situation.

[D] This step is important because you actually get buy-in from your employees when they understand what's important about the work that you're asking them to do.

It also empowers them to prioritize and make decisions about the work dynamically, especially when you're not around. In our role play, Holly didn't even give me any explanation for why she wanted this work done.

In my view, this work was stupid and pointless, and I prioritized other things that I saw as being more important.

[H] And something we haven't talked about up until this point. This is actually a huge tragedy because I actually do have a good reason for getting this work done.

I will talk about it a little bit more later, but there are going to be some consequences that fall down on me and Darrell's head for this not getting done on time. I didn't let her know, I just set her out to sea.

Since she didn't have that context, she deprioritized it because it wasn't interesting to her, she didn't see the point of it, and it honestly wasn't that fun.

[D] If there are consequences to not getting the work done to a certain standard or deadline, this is where you would explain them because it's fair to your employees to let them know upfront about the consequences.

You don't want to surprise them with a terrible outcome for something that they thought was just simply minor.

Step #4 Check In & Commitment

[D] Step number four is checking in and getting commitment. This is where you check in with them to make sure that they're actually able to meet the expectation that you outlined.

And to make sure that there's nothing standing in the way of them actually getting that done or being successful at actually completing the work.

A key part is getting commitment from them, so that they can't weasel out of it later with excuses. The way you might do this is you would say to them, do you foresee anything standing in the way of you meeting this expectation and deadline?

Or is there anything you need from me or anybody else to help you meet that deadline? And then you want to confirm with, can you do that and get a clear yes from them.

[H] It's really important to get a clear yes or no when you're confirming their level of commitment to this. And you need to watch out for anything that's less than a hundred percent yes. So that might be like Darrell, "maybe," "I'll try," "I guess." Or even a yes that's like, "yeah, yeah, yeah I guess I could, I think I could do that, right?"

So even a literal yes with the tone of a maybe is something to watch out for because of those roles are all ways that a) employees will create distance between actually committing to doing a thing and doing a thing and, b) it's another way for them to kind of hint at you that there's something in the way.

As a manager who's invested in getting this work done, you want to find out what that thing is.

[D] If you don't check in and actually get commitment, you're actually opening the door to all kinds of shitty behavior. That's exactly what happened in our example.

My weasley words were a way of not committing and leaving space for me not to do the work and then play innocent when Holly asked me for the work on Friday, and because Holly didn't push back and ask any further questions, I got away with it.

Step #5 Invitation Requirement for Questions

[H] Step number five is an invitation for questions. Now, this is something that most of us do, de rigueur, all the time, kind of almost by instinct. We go, "Let me know if you have any questions. My door is always open."

Classic manager nonsense, right? We're always doing this, but there's a slight tweak we want to make to this. And that's that, rather than inviting somebody to ask questions, we want you to make asking questions a requirement of the people.

It's not something like, "Oh, if it's nice, if it's convenient, if it's easy for you, feel free to ask some questions." No, I actively want you to ask me some questions to make sure that if there's anything in the way, we can get them out of the way.

I'm actually going to cross this off, and turn this into Requirement for Questions, because it's so important that we get that right.

A way that you can try this is, "My door's always open if you have any problems or questions. And please do ask, especially if it's going to impact the deadline. I'd much rather you ask me questions than spend all this valuable time struggling to figure it out. If you've got a question I can answer, let's just get it sorted so you can get going. Don't worry about wasting my time."

[D] Making it a requirement to ask questions, also removes the stigma from asking and it frees your employees up not to feel like an idiot when they ask questions.

[H] Did I do this to Darrell in our role play? No, absolutely not. I just skipped right over this. Good job Holly. Again, an A plus on the role play.

Step #6 Keep Me Posted

[D] Step number six is telling your employee to keep you posted on how it's going and on anything that could affect the deadline. Basically, this helps you avoid the trap of your employees offering endless excuses or not taking accountability when they don't meet the deadline.

It also empowers them to take ownership of the work and come to you if there are any problems. Here's how you might do this. You simply say, "If anything comes up that might affect the deadline, let me know so that we can troubleshoot it and make sure we make the deadline. Keep me updated."

And if you're delegating a longer or more sensitive project, you might actually want to put a structured system in place for them checking in with you. So: "I want you to report back to me in this manner at this interval."

This stops you from seeming like a micromanager because you won't be harassing them all the time to get updates, but you will get the information that you need to do your job responsibly.

[H] It's really important here that you avoid the information vacuum that so many of us end up falling into. Some ways that most people fall into that are not requiring them to ask questions, just inviting them instead, and not requiring them to check in.

Make sure you have a plan in place, or you've at least said to them, "Hey, check in with me about how this is going." Creating some kind of framework for monitoring progress is really important here as well, if you want to get out of the information vacuum.

And by the way, friends, none of this actually absolves you from checking in yourself. You need to set up the structure, but also if your employee is not doing it, you've got to proactively follow up with them, check in yourself and then reinforce that it's up to them to check in.

That's still an important part of this, right? It’s really important that you make sure that you're still getting the information that you need as a manager, that's far more important than not checking, so that your employees are comfortable.

[D] So, did Holly do this in our example? No, she didn't do it at all. And by not creating an expectation that I come to her with any problems I have.

Holly reinforced my ability to misunderstand, miss the deadline and tell her about the problems afterwards, which is exactly what I did when it was far too late to actually fix it.

This was exactly what I was counting on because I thought this was a stupid ask anyway and I didn't want to do the work. She gave me all the agency that I needed to get away with it.

[H] I played right into Darrell's hands, and she played me like a fiddle. Good job Holly. Let's go through the formula, the six steps that you need to make sure you get this right.

[H]

What you want done, very specific. Crystal clear what you're looking for, so the person can actually do the work correctly.

When you want it done by with a deadline that you've actually set yourself, not outsourced to your employee.

Why it needs to be done, so they've got enough context to understand how to prioritize this work and what really matters about it.

Check in about any barriers that are in the way and get a firm commitment for them to actually do the work.

Do not invite them but require them to ask you questions in case they run into any problems along the way.

Make sure that there's a plan in place for them to keep you posted so that you know what's going on with the project you just delegated.

So, six steps that I basically did not achieve. Let's see what this would look like if I had actually done it right and if I’d attended this wonderful webinar that we're doing and sorted myself out, how would this go for me and Darrell?

How to Successfully Manage Expectations (Role Play Example!)

So, here's where I'm at leaving this conversation. I really don't want to have to do the extra work when I'm going to have to do all over again in a couple of weeks when we wrap up our drilling for the season.

But I can see there's actually a really good reason to do this. There's a shareholders’ meeting and this has to be done, so it's really important for the company. So, I'm going to put in the work and make sure that Holly gets this by Friday.

Most importantly, Holly has been fair here. She's treated me like a responsible human being and given me the reasons for why we need to do it.

We've discussed the problems and come up with solutions already. So quite frankly, I've got a lot more respect for her because she's holding both of us to account.

[H] On Friday when I go talk to Darrell about it, I'm pretty sure this work's going to get done and if it's not done, the good news is I've created everything I need to really be able to hold Darrell to account, a strong container to reinforce this, right?

She's committed to doing the work, there's a clear deadline, she knows exactly what she's got to do and by when. I've given her the opportunity upfront to identify any issues and told her to come with me with anything that shows up between now and then.

And I've put it on her to come back to me if any problems show up. At the end of the day, this is now all on Darrell, I've ticked all the boxes that I need to tick and if she can't get it done, then I've got the tools to come back and say, "Hey, what happened? What went wrong? We talked about this, right?"

In the long term if this does become a behavioural problem with Darrell and I've got to get HR involved, the good news is I'm already doing all the behaviours that HR would want to see me do to make sure that I'm giving Darrell her best chance of success or, you know, unfortunately, to give me my best chance of success at kicking Darrell out the organization if she just can't manage to perform.

[D] The reality is, I'm actually a really responsible employee and I take my job seriously and I like to do a really good job. So, Holly's not going to have a problem with me in the long term.

[H] How's everybody feeling about this lovely script that we defined?

[D] We've outlined a pretty direct no-nonsense method of setting expectations for your team. And I wouldn't be surprised if some of you feel that this is a bit overkill or even a bit harsh.

[H] Who in this room thinks that this is a bit militant or that they would never be able to be this direct with their team? I feel like this sometimes. I'm here teaching y'all how to do this. I don't always get this right.

There are times when I'm very much the first manager that we described.

[D] That makes total sense Holly because everyone wants as a manager to be liked, and to be seen to be considerate and fair.

[H] Exactly. And you know, what happens in that scenario is that just like I did, you tend to soften up what feels like the harsh edges on the script, the parts that feel a little bit direct.

We're trying to do that to be nice to our employees, but the problem is we're not actually really helping them. As you can see in the first example, I gave Darrell just enough rope to hang herself with and then was mad at her with the results.

[D] It's a lot less about being nice and rather about treating people, the people who report to us with respect. We wouldn't have employed them if they weren't capable of doing the job.

When we over function and we try to accommodate them in every way or problem solve for them, before we even know whether they have a problem, we're actually treating them like children who can't be responsible on their own and that's actually not respecting them.

Even worse, it's actually very disempowering for them and it doesn't even make them like you. In the first example when I pulled back the curtain and let you all in on what I was thinking, did it sound like I like Holly or even respected her? Hell no.

Let's be honest here, I mean Holly's a really nice person. I have no problem liking Holly as a person, but as a manager, hell no, I really didn't like her. But when she sorted herself out in the second example, I liked her way more and I had way more respect for her, because she was firm, and she treated me with respect.

[H] Ultimately, at the end of the day your job as a manager is to set a strong container for your team. To give them boundaries, so that they can play safely within them, but they know where the edges are, so they don't go outside of them.

If you can do that well you create employees who are way more independent, who can function without checking in with you every minute. And if you get that wrong, like I did in the first example, then you end up having to resort to micromanagement.

You have to get involved in every little thing because they actually don't have the tools to do the work effectively and do it on their own. They kind of go from, as Darrell's describing, not competent adults that you hired, they become like children.

You either end up with overly rebellious teenagers on one hand that are fighting with you about every little thing -- that's the Darrell Farrows of the crowd, right?

Or you end up with what somebody was just talking about in the chat a second ago, with little toddlers who just don't know what the hell's expected of them.

They'll ask you questions about every little thing that's going on. Both of those are symptoms that you're not setting a strong enough container and your team just doesn't know what the hell to do with you.

It's really important that you get this right.

[D] Ironically in the worst-case scenario when you're trying to be too nice to your employees because you want to be empathetic and fair and you want them to like you, you can actually end up hurting them.

If you're too soft, you end up with employees who aren't performing properly, you might have to fire them. They're getting fired, the problem is you not managing them properly. This really isn't a fair situation.

You started out trying to be helpful and accommodating and ended up making everything terrible with your ruinous empathy. Your team ends up paying the price. This is why being firm really, really matters.

Putting These Steps into Practice with “The Masked Manager” (Role Play Example!)

[H] The Masked Manager and I are going to do a little role play. I'm going to be the employee. The Masked Manager obviously is going to be the manager. Darrell's going to listen in and kind of give critiques and helpful suggestions about how this could improve.

So Masked Manager, tell me a little bit about the scenario that we're going to role play here. Who am I being as your employee? What's going on?

[The Masked Manager - TMM] Sounds good Holly. I am a somewhat new manager to the team, and you are somebody that I've inherited when I joined this team.

I would say that you're quite experienced and senior in your role, and you've repeatedly told me that this is going to be your last job before retirement. You're amazing at your job, and you love working on meaty problems.

You do love doing anything that brings tons of customer value and makes our product inherently better. And you're amazing when you find that really good fit for that problem that you find really intriguing or engaging.

But I've really struggled to get you to take on tasks that you view as less important or not as interesting to work on. So, I think that's the scenario that I sort of want to set up here.

[H] I'm going to try to be just a little bit complicated for this person to manage, so that they've got a stretch and work their skills. Okay, so Masked Manager delegate to me. Tell me what you need me to do.

Feedback for “The Masked Manager” - What Worked, What Didn’t?

So, we're going to hear now from Darrell. I want to hear some of the things that you did really well, tell us what your impressions, what did The Masked Manager do well?

[D] Masked Manager, I thought you did a really, really good job of explaining the importance of this project and why it was important.

I'm seeing the comment, you did a very good verbal judo. You were persistent, because while you did a really good job of explaining why, you sounded really hesitant about the, Could Holly work on this? Would she work on it next? You didn't give her any clear expectations about what you wanted done and when you wanted it done by.

If I were to rehash that, after having explained to Holly why this is really important, I would be saying "Okay, you are working on this important project right now. When is that going to be finished by? It's going to be finished by then.

When you finish that, I want you to take this on. This is what I want you to do, and this is what I want the outcome to be, and this is when it has to be done by". I felt that you missed those two points.

[H] As you were describing it, you could almost feel that discomfort, that sort of backing away. And when Darrell's doing it, she's leaning in. She's really direct. "When's it going to be done? This is what has to happen next, right?"

When Darrell does that, I'm going, "Oh, I'm going to get away with a lot less here", right?

Notice that the difference in 1) language, but 2) how that produces a difference in tone as well.

[D] I'd like to ask The Masked Manager, what is your take on that, or what do you think when I gave that feedback?

[TMM] I think everything you said really resonates. And this is something that I personally struggled with as I've managed teams in the past too. I've definitely failed to delegate tasks in the past before and I so, so wish I had actually attended this talk years before.

I think the part where I always struggled, I was always really good at giving the strategic context and the why behind why something was important, valuable. But I lacked that follow through around, "Okay, well, this is the commitment, I need you to really agree with this and I need you to like to hold yourself accountable to this as well, not just for me to hold you accountable."

I definitely agree with all the feedback.

[D] Most of us, particularly when we first step into management roles, feel really unsure about what we are doing and it's actually okay. But it's actually our jobs to delegate effectively and to tell people really clearly what's expected of them.

And it's fair to people to tell them what's expected and when it's expected by, because as you said then you empower them, and you give them the responsibilities to get on and do that.

[H] Most of us don't get any training at this, right? There's an old stat that says people don't get management training until 10 years after they've been a manager.

I would say anecdotally, at least, that's true with the people that I've worked with. So, we don't really get this done, and we're often in a situation, that first promotion, where we've been peers with folks and now, we're promoted above them and we're like, "This is so awkward. I used to go for lunch with this person and now I have to come down and be the heavy and be like get it done".

So we really struggle to make that happen. What happens is we end up with expectations that are like Swiss cheese.

[D] I was also going to add in there because you didn't set the clear expectation of what you wanted done and when you wanted done by, then it was difficult for you to actually get commitment because you hadn't given them that clear direction.

Whereas if you've given them that clear direction, then you can say, "Okay, so can you get that done by... And is there anything standing in the way of you doing that?"

Then following through with the, "Okay, this is how and when I expect you to keep me updated on it." Right? When you fail with the first thing, then all the other pieces don't fall into place because you haven't set up the first thing of when, what you want done and when you want it done by really clearly. But once you set that up clearly, then the rest is easy to build on that.

[H] I noticed something really interesting happened, Masked Manager, when you were delegating. Towards the end you said, "Okay, we'll check in with this next week at our one-on-one". You did that good job of creating a check-in situation, which I love, right?

But that was kind of a way of you kicking this conversation down the road because we hadn't really defined yet what you wanted me to do. That was a question that I had asked you at one point. I said, 'Well what do you want me to do?" You said, 'Well maybe this, maybe you talk to this person, maybe you start here."

There was a, I noticed as just a keyword, there's a lot of “maybe” all strewn throughout this, which is, again, another way of softening. These things creep into all of our speech from time to time.

But those little words, those maybes, those ums, those errs, that slight lean back really creates the impression that for me as the employee I went, "Oh I'm going to be able to get away with kicking this down the road."

That was my impression leaving that which is pretty common for most of us. Who here sees something they've done in delegation in what I did or what the Masked Manager just did? Lots of us.

[H] Thank you Masked Manager. because we know you can do this so much better than you've done it just now.

You've heard a couple of demos here from The Masked Manager, from me, from Darrell about how this goes, how this goes well, and some critiques and adjustments.

Hopefully you're already on your way to having a few tips and tricks that you can apply starting maybe even today with your team as you're going to do some delegation.

Summary: The Six Key Steps for Managing Expectations for Your Team

[D] We've gone through a lot in the last hour to show you how to set expectations effectively with your team.

I'm going to quickly recap those steps.